yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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