Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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