NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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