please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize