Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize