from now on my penis is your penis
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize