It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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