she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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