Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize