do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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