ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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