even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
whose parrot is this?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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