Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize