when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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