my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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