She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
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One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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Woke up backwards on a recliner
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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