I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize