I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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