with your own penis?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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