Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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