So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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