why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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