Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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