i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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