And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize