Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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