no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
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I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
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I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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