pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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