you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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