maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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