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remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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