Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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