I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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