so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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