Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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