No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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