If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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