Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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