Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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