i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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