did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
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Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
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It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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