i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've blown a few things in my day
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize