why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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