I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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