I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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