Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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