Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
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I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
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Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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