watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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