Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My penis needs a shock collar
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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