If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize